Sunday

He's cooking.

I'm sick, dreading work tomorrow, and blogging.

He's incredibly good.  And nice to me.  I would love to say that he is cooking because I am sick, but lets face it.  He always cooks.  He says he likes it.  I know I like it.

My house is messy, but much cuter than last week.  On Monday my mom and sister came and we bought curtains and painted.  It looks better but we still need to put pictures up.

Its weird that that was just a week ago.  It feels like much longer.  Its been a very long week.  Matt's grandpa passed away.  We saw him Wednesday night, Thursday night, and just a couple hours after he died on Friday.  It was sweet to be surrounded by family, and he had a stroke 8 years ago, so he hadn't been himself for a while.  But it was still a little sad. It was sad to think that I never knew him, and that my future kids wouldn't.  Well, on this earth.  Maybe they're getting to know him right now.  I don't know how that works, but its a nice thought.

It made me want to hold onto life and never die.  It made Matt say he wanted to die young(er) and quick, so he wouldn't have to suffer. I get that, but it also makes me sad.  I don't want him to die ever.  Bleh.  I don't like thinking like that.

Let's get back on a positive note.

Its snowing, which should clean out this nasty air. (Worst in the nation. Ew.)

I now only have 22 kids in my class (I'm sad one moved, but maybe it will make life easier.)

My husband makes a cute funny face while he grates cheese.

We got to see Matt's dad and sister this week, and it was so so nice to see them.

My primary kids are adorable.

I took a two hour nap today.

I like Sundays.

DDP Induced Rambling.

I'm in a very silly mood.

I'm not fully sure why, but I figure hey, let's go with it.  This might be entertaining to read later.

I just realized why.  44oz of Diet Dr. Pepper.  It is, after all, the nectar of the gods. 

Well anyway.  Pretty much every day this week I have fallen asleep while reading a Harry Potter fanfiction novel (I found it on pinterest?  Its intriguing?  I don't know.)  Last night I was next to my dear husband who I "love so terribly much" (to quote Matthew Crawley.  I'm "so terribly" obsessed with Downton Abbey.) And he was studying.  He had gone to school all day, worked, cooked dinner, and then studied like a madman.  I am awfully proud of him. (I think I finally understand why teenagers use bad words to mean good things!  Sick!)  I'm also painfully in love with his new "hipster" glasses and the fact that his name is Matthew.  (Wow, this is turning into a wordy love note to him?) #toomanyparenthesis #switchingtomisusedhashtags

I feel a little like a dud.  I spend too much money, never clean up, and waste an enormous amount of time on the internet every day.  I feel like I'm getting squishier.  My hair has gotten absolutely ridiculously too long. I made him switch cars with me because my tire was flat-ish this morning.

I feel absurdly lucky.  I have a good job, a great family, and the best husband.  I just feel as if I need to be better.  A better teacher, and a better wife (whether or not that includes all those vain things above, I'm not sure.) #crapIdiditagain 

I think that a portion of... my current state is because I'm so tired.  Teaching sucks everything out of me. #noI'mnotpregnant  I interact intensely with kids, all day, trying to form them into better people, trying to teach them something, getting frustrated with their behavior, and also plenty of laughing with/at them.  How can I have more energy to be better?  Should I start exercising?  I know I'd get stronger but right now I don't see how I could begin.  Too tired.  Should I go to bed earlier?  I already feel like I never see my husband.

How did this post start out?

Oh well, I'm happy.  I guess I'd just like to express to the world that teaching is hard and great, and my husband's the best no battle, and you can always do more, but you can also be happy now.  With what you have, where you are.

What to do when you won't grade papers.

Write a whole bunch of random stuff.

1.  So, our heater is broken.  Which is cold.  One day it worked, the next it smelled like wet dog, and the next, it was blowing cold air.  Now we're waiting for a new one.  And its cold.  Last night I got in bed to warm up, and Matt had to wake me up to go take my contacts out.  When he went to bed.  Like 2 hours later.  He said I was not mean. My family says I'm mean when you wake me up and I'm not all the way awake.  I apparently just "did not listen to him".  Well. My husband tells me what to do a lot.  Not really.

2.  Got dinner ready by nine tonight.  Go me... Hey, at least I cooked.  Oh and the rice looked like mashed potatoes.  Oops!

I like this post I just found in drafts.  I think I'll publish it.