Feeling 10 years old.

So today something happened.

I was late, again.  It was snowing.  I checked the weather, but we still didn't leave early enough.

Don't worry, I didn't get in an accident.

So, I was late for school.  Today was the day of the big writing test.  It was bad that I was late.  And I was late on Friday because of snow then too.  Ugh, embarrassing.  Someone took my class, and it was okay.  But I came in the door and my students!  Oh my students.  They ran out of their seats. 
"You're laaate!  Why are you late Mrs. Kosterrrr?? What took you so loong?"  Oh. I felt like I was ten again!

How is it that spending time with ten-year-olds make that happen?  I am their teacher! I am a good 13+ years older than them! (Don't tell. They like to guess how old I am.)  I don't understand!  And yet there I was!

And I said, "Don't you think I feel bad?  Don't you think I did my best?"  *cue getting a little choked up* (definitely NEH-ver did that as a kid...) (Actually I did it all the time...) "Don't you think I wanted to be here?"

Apparently tears (really it was only slight eye-mistiness and a very little voice shaking), are a lot more effective adult to kid vs. kid to kid. (When I was a kid, they just looked, turned around, and giggled a little. Oh I still remember.  I see them do it to each other.)

Suddenly it had all turned around.  "Mrs. Koster, was your drive really bad?  I heard you telling that teacher it was a parking lot. How far away do you live again?  Woah I wouldn't want to go that far every day..."

Empathy! What?  If only I could teach them to treat each other that way!  They really are the sweetest, once they get out of themselves! Oh, have I taught them anything?  And such feelings...


Then it was inside recess and they were hooligans and I had to be mean Mrs. Koster and my own empathy rather flew out the window.  I made a kid cry. I apologized but I still don't really feel bad about it.

Oops.

Cleaning the Kitchen

“The best antidote I know for worry is work. The best cure for weariness is the challenge of helping someone who is even more tired. One of the great ironies of life is this: He or she who serves almost always benefits more than he or she who is served.” President Gordon B. Hinckley

 ...

Okay, so no great service was done in this house tonight.  I just felt bad about myself, and I felt like a slacker wife, and I didn't make dinner. (We had Cafe Rio.  And it was good.  But still.)

So I put on my headphones, and I did the dishes.  They were gross.  Its been a crazy week. But I did them.  And I took the trash out too.

And it came to pass that I felt better about myself. Amen.